I was thinking today about the power of language, and that old adage about “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me.” Someone wise should add an amendment to it that says, “Unless I think them about myself.”
Clients come to therapy in part, yes, because of the intentional (or non-intentional) evil stuff other people have said to them. But those things morphed into the boogie man under your emotional bed when some part of you not just believed them, but began to repeat them to yourself as truths. After all, who has more keys to your storehouse of self-esteem than you? When did you start allowing your thoughts to make you a secret agent for the other side?
When we’re trying to make ourselves sound smart, we mental health folks explain that we will help you stop shooting yourself in the butt by doing CBT, SFBT, or any other number of acronym-rich techniques on you. But, what we’re actually doing (please do try this at home) is having a conversation with you about how your thoughts inform your feelings, and your feelings inform your worldview about yourself and others. My favorite question to ask clients about their self-defeating thoughts is, “What would it mean about you if that were true?” Go ahead and give it a try. Then, give some thought to what you would prefer to be thinking about instead. When those negative thoughts are no longer allowed to be automatic, you start to have wiggle room.
Your Partner in Healing, Holly
If you would like to schedule an appointment or a free 15-minute phone conversation call 407.913.4988 or email holly@lotustherapycenter.com.
Tags: Anxiety, negative thinking, Stress
