So here’s the funny thing about anxiety–it loves you. Anxiety wants to hang out with you all the time. It loves you when you’re home. It loves you when you’re at work. It even loves you when you’re out walking Fido, shopping for new underwear, or reading the paper. This is a companion that has all the tender affections of a really well-practiced stalker. Anxiety is concerned enough to leave its calling cards everywhere just so you won’t forget it for too long–muscle aches, stomach pains, blushing, sweating, and a host of others. Sound familiar?
Originally, anxiety wasn’t quite the social leper it is now. A fight-or-flight response is built into the human nervous system because it was useful in helping our ancestors to avoid becoming lunch for some saber-toothed beastie. In an evolutionary sense, those of us who are prone to anxiety are the descendents of the all-stars of the ancient world. Super sensitive, we would have been able to haul loin cloth when necessary. These days, it is hardly necessary to ramp up to full tiger avoidance response when our bills are due or the kids have smeared cheese on the walls.
Now, try telling your body that. I’ll wait. Really, go ahead. Still anxious? Read on.
What we’re talking about here is one of the questions most central to making sense of modern life in a body that’s hard-wired for the African savannah. How can we partner with our bodies to so that our stress responses don’t take over? How can we honor the messages we receive from both our physical and mental selves?
Our bodies and our minds (some would add spirits or souls) are riding along together. There is nothing that happens for one that does not occur for the other as well. When we speak of finding “balance” in our lives it is more than beautiful language. It is a way of acknowledging the integration of all aspects of our lived experience. Without that integration we feel lost, tired, and yes, anxious.
What are some ways we can mediate the effects of stress and tension? There are many good techniques to manage the fear and panic that are central to anxiety. Often, the best ones are unique to you. Good therapy can help you identify ways you have been successful in negotiating the throes of anxiety in the past, and it can assist you in building new individualized strategies. But just to get you started, here a few that most clients find helpful.
1) When you’re anxious, stay in the now– That sounds silly, right? But, as human beings most of our time is split between life in this moment, plans for the future, and thoughts of the past. There is nothing wrong with that very reasonable use of our big brain’s ability to deal in abstractions.
Nothing, that is, until those images conjure up a maelstrom of fear and doubt. Your body will become sympathetic to this and tense up to mirror your cognitive landscape. If you continue to hang onto those terrifying thoughts, your body will continue to provide a complimentary response. What now? Return your attention to your body as it is just at that moment. (If you want a $10 expression for Trivial Pursuit, we therapists sometimes call your body experience ‘the somatic self.’) When you are able to pay attention to the thoughts that fuel your body response and accept the somatic self as it is, you will be able to be able to be responsive rather than reactive.
2) Let’s get physical–I’m not talking about that compulsive, “I need abs like Brittney Spears,” kind of exercise. I’m talking about the sweaty goodness that helps you to wring the stress out of your body by moving all those tensed-up muscles and kick-starting the feel-good chemicals in
your body. If step class isn’t your thing, other forms of physical movement like yoga and dance are also effective, and require you to pay attention to your body in the present moment (see above). Some studies have even found links between rigorous exercise and improved concentration. Since a huge part of anxiety can be based in fears related to perfectionism, what could be bad about having more mental resources?
3) Stick out your tongue and say “Om”- Daily meditation or prayer are fantastic ways to slow down and reconnect the pieces. The fear that fuels anxiety is anything but a slow emotion. It’s like a biker gang with souped-up hogs heading down the superhighway of your body/mind connection. Meditation can help you install some toll plazas, stop lights, and traffic cops to put the brakes on runaway anxiety responses.
4) Believe it’s your lucky day- Wait, before you think I’m the hokiest shrink ever, check this out: research has demonstrated that when test subjects experienced positive emotions, their problem-solving ability and mental focus increased. This, in turn, increased their levels of the feel-good neurotransmitter, dopamine. You can think about anything you want. It’s up to you to decide if you’re going to dwell on vinegar or honey. Though it can be tough to concentrate on the positive, setting even a few minutes aside to do this could change your life. While you’re at it, include some good reading material. If I could plug just one book to all my clients it would be “What Happy People Know” by psychologist Dan Baker.
Your Partner in Healing, Holly
If you would like to schedule an appointment or a free 15-minute phone consultation please write holly@lotustherapycenter.com or phone 407.913.4988.
